Taking Care With The Meaning We Add To Our Feelings

This week I’ve been feeling quite low. There have probably been a number of contributors that are easy to recognise if I look for them, but the main result was a change in my biochemistry and a complete lack of motivation. One of the things that I realised was that looking back to work out what was going on, wasn’t particularly helpful as my thoughts about it all tended to add power to my negative feelings.

First there was the disappointing launch of my meditation program. Instead of compassionately understanding that I’m bound to feel a bit disheartened when something I’ve put so much work into doesn’t really go anywhere, I found myself adding extra meaning to the feelings: ‘all that work for practically nothing’ ‘what if I end up not being able to support myself’ ‘will I have enough money to stay is Spain if I keep failing?’ Well you can imagine the impact of these thoughts on how I was feeling! Fortunately though I caught myself at it. I realised that I was adding intensity with the meaning I was giving to my feelings. I decided I could just accept feeling low, go with it and get through it without having to add all this meaning.

Looking back can be useful if it helps you recognise how to make positive changes, but you also have to make sure you’re in the right frame of mind for thinking positively in the first place. Looking back I was able to recognise that my lack of motivation was added to, by the fact that during my busy week I’d hardy been outside in daylight and I’d only done my home yoga once. Positive thinking would encourage me to get back outside and get on with my yoga. However my motivation was so low at the time that the idea of getting out more and doing more yoga just felt like an added pressure and made me feel worse.

Basically in this situation the best I could do was just accept my feelings, sit with them and ride it out. And that was plenty good enough! Without the added meaning and the pressure that I should be doing something, the heaviness lifted slightly and all of a sudden I wanted to go for a short walk, a day or two later I wanted to do my yoga and today my motivation has improved so much that I’ve caught up with my essential work and am writing this blog post!

How do you add meaning to your feelings?

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6 thoughts on “Taking Care With The Meaning We Add To Our Feelings

  1. Well I know there are those of us out here who very much value the work you put in. Have a re read of the feedback at those difficult moments. As much as I jest, I’m sure the meditation works good results will filter out there bit by bit and your positivity and tenacity will come good.

    It is so much easier to find logic and positivity when we are able to engineer our environment to give us time to organise our thoughts. Much easier to switch to whatever our autopilot is when we are at the edge of our energy envelope.or our environment is giving added challenges.

    Being able to think clearly is much more likely when I have a good handle on symptom management .

    What will be will be. Its that, being in the current moment thing that I find most helpful in not adding, at the moment, unfounded drama.

  2. I think trying to temper my spiralling negatives thoughts and feelings is one of the things I struggle with the most. I have only just discovered your website and am finding it so helpful, empathetic and relevant – thank you!

  3. Thank you for your feedback! catching your spiraling negative thoughts can be a real challenge! But its also a skill that can be developed with practice. Celebrate every time to manage to notice yourself spiraling and chose not to take it further! Good luck!

  4. Re Your project although disappointing for you.
    I am frowning you my mantra
    It’s the process not the product.
    Nothing is ever wasted. Hopefully you enjoyed the process. Your were motivated and had good chemicals supporting you. It fed you for a while. So although the stone you threw into the pond didn’t land as you envisioned, it will have sent ripples that will continue who knows where.
    The process was the work the product you.
    The mantra came from working in a run down area with small kids, it was never about the beautiful art work or whatever but what they were learning and who they were. And last but not least thier joy in thier moments of creation.
    I try not to add meaning to my feelings. I just cling onto the fact that all things pass, and tomorrow is a another day,
    I can’t find the me that I was. And I have to work on a new product. I try very hard to enjoy the process.
    Well that’s the theory anyway.
    I am a work in progress,.
    Keep on keeping on as Bennett would say.

    • Thank you D, for your warm words of encouragement. I love the mantra! it certainly is about the process not the product. I’m glad that you are focused on enjoying the process! me too! and I can certainly relate to being a work in progress!

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