I’m very pleased to announce that I’m moving back to Spain next week, well at least for the next 3 months. I’m finally in the very enviable position for a chronic illness sufferer, of being able to support myself whilst working from home and being able to pace my work to fit in with the constraints of my illness. There are no guarantees that I will be able to continue to support myself beyond the next 3 months, but I choose to believe that it will all work out! (I also have a fall back plan).
The tiny village I’m moving back to is set in stunning mountain scenery. Although I can’t take advantage of the amazing mountain walks in the area any more, I know the beauty of the place will encourage me to take a daily stroll as far as is comfortable. I’m also optimistic that the quality of life there will help me improve and build up the distance I can walk. I also hope to boost my vitamin D levels with careful exposure to the sun. As it’s high in the mountains it only gets ridiculously hot in July and August, when I hope to retreat to the UK for a visit with family and friends. Although I’m not a great sun worshiper, what I love about the weather there is the huge openness of the skies. Oh, and the stars at night are just incredible! I’m really looking forward to being there again, yet I’m managing to avoid too much excitement by imagining how relaxed I will be when I get there. Relaxed anticipation is far better for my nervous system than excitement!
I started organising my packing weeks ago knowing how important it is to pace. I also wanted to keep stress to a minimum as I know how it can eat up huge amounts of energy. I’ve mostly succeeded even though I’m now on my 6th below baseline day of the week (with only 2 days to go). I’ve proved to myself that even when I need to take extra special care of myself I can still get things done, one by one, slowly, with lots of breaks.
The major key for me has been to avoid worrying about all the things that are still to be done. I’ve been relying on my list of the things I need to do. By trusting it, I’ve freed my mind from having to think about everything all the time. Every now and again I’ve thought of something else for the list so I’ve just added it. I haven’t let myself worry about what else I might have missed because I know it doesn’t help. When thoughts like that crop up I just dismiss them. I’ve chosen to trust that the important stuff will all just come to me and if it doesn’t, it won’t be the end of the world, I’ll find another solution when I get to Spain. When I look at my list I’ve avoided assessing the size of it or worrying about how I’ll fit everything in to the time I’ve got left. I just look for the next small thing that I feel I can manage at the moment. And it’s very reassuring to see things progressively get crossed off. This may not have been the most efficient way to get things done, but it’s been the best way for my body. By being kind to myself and trusting that it will all work out I’ve actually given myself the best chance of being productive. And so far it’s been working really well for me!
Have a great week everyone! Next time I write I will be in Spain!