This week I’ve been lucky enough to have a good week. I went for a lovely 2 mile walk on my day off which is just about my limit at the moment. The weather was lovely, there were some really pretty views of the Shropshire countryside and altogether it was a very uplifting experience. Later that day after a good rest I had my weekly yoga class. Again I felt energised and uplifted at the end of it, even though I’d not really managed to take it as easy as I feel I should. However the knowledge that I enjoyed two activities in a day, each approaching what I would normally consider my daily energetic limit, has been hanging over me a little. I can’t seem to help waiting for a crash!
Whilst it is very wise to take care with my energy after knowingly spending more than usual, it really isn’t wise to expect the worse from my body. I need to give my body the message that I expect it to do its best to get better, not invite it to get worse.
For those of us that have a lot of experience living with this illness it can be hard not to expect our bodies to respond in the ways that we have got used to it responding. However if we are going to allow improvement we need to stay open to our bodies responding in better ways. Worry is like stress and adds a pressure to our healthy functioning. Worrying that we might crash because we’ve done too much is only going to make it more likely that we will crash. We need to find that balance between accepting that we are living with a chronic illness and need to manage our energy and the belief that things can bet better. (see How Acceptance and Hope Coexist)
To find this balance we need to live in the moment. We can plan our energy expenditure and pace in accordance with our average baseline, but moment by moment we can listen to our body and allow it to be how it is. Allow it to surprise us in a positive way if it can! Today I’m going to take it easy; I’m going to give my body the best chance to recover. However I’m going to choose to expect that I’ll stay fine; that I really am having a good week and that a crash isn’t inevitable!
Remember, even though we always need to be prepared for the worst we shouldn’t forget to expect the best!